How You Touch Me Read online

  The suction increased and warm liquid dripped from a nozzle onto Sophia's sensitized skin. Sophia bucked violently and there was a sudden surge in her pulse. The monitors beeped shrilly, and he tore his eyes away from them in time to see her come. Her hips rose and she erupted in sweat and tremors. When her body finally stopped shuddering, he quickly worked the controls to release her wrists and ankles from the cuffs. Fingers flying over the keyboard, he released everything and with a hiss, the curved walls of the globe retracted.

  “What the hell just happened...? How did...?” Sophia managed to stutter breathlessly. She blinked and hugged herself tightly as Julian approached her. He wrapped a coat around her shoulders as she began to shiver.

  “You did well. You're all right now. You did so well, Sophia.” He wanted to hug her and tell her that her very first session with the sex machine had been a success. She was still shaking and he wanted to hold her and soothe her but instead, she began to cry. Her hot tears dripped onto his hand, hurting him more than he thought possible.

  “You are perfect. I knew you were perfect. I just knew,” he said softly. He wanted to tell her more, but the words wouldn't come.

  Helplessly, he tried to pull her close but she stumbled away from him. “I...I'd prefer if you don't touch me right now,” she hissed. She looked so lost and confused, and hostile. He reached for her again, but she backed even further away from him. She was withdrawing from him, distancing herself from him. Julian's eyes blazed with pain and anger, anger at himself. How could he have scared her so? He should have prepared her better, tell her more about the intense sensations and orgasms that she was likely to experience in the machine. But that would have interfered with the results. To prevent himself from making a grab for her, Julian shoved his hands into his pockets. He wanted to punch something, himself, for the hurt and fear that he had caused her.

  “I'll go to my room now. I know the way.” Sophia turned and ran out the door.

  He knew he shouldn't follow her, but he had to. He lunged after her, but froze when he saw her leaning against the door to one of the guest bedrooms. She was shaking so badly. He wanted to embrace her, but all she wanted was to be left alone right now. He had to respect that.

  She whirled round suddenly to face him, her face a mask of hostility. Taken aback, Julian staggered, “Would you like...”

  “No! No, no, just no...” Ducking into the room, Sophia slammed the door in his face and he heard the lock turn.

  Julian closed his eyes, his chest constricting. He should be celebrating, but instead he was beating himself up. The sex machine had worked beautifully on the subject. The first exploratory orgasm had been perfect. Both machine and specimen had performed to expectation. He knew, he just knew the moment he saw her at his gates, that she was the one. It was a success. Everything had gone well. So why the hell was he feeling this terrible ache in his heart, like a thousand arrows had pierced right through it?

  He went back to the laboratory and flicked off all the switches, powering down the sex machine and all the computers. Pulling the door of his laboratory shut behind him, he left his work and his research in darkness and pushed into his bedroom. He sat down heavily on his bed and hunched forward, elbows on his knees.

  That woman.

  Sophia Adams.

  She was so damn perfect.

  The images pounded through his head. Her shy smile, her lips, her large, beautiful eyes looking up at him, her arms around his neck, her soft, naked body, how she moved, how she looked when she climaxed...her tears as she ran from him...

  The ache hit Julian hard. Frustrated, he pushed off the bed, peeling off his clothes roughly as he made his way to the shower. A cold shower was what he needed right now. No, he needed Sophia right now, but he shouldn't be near her. Not tonight.

  He turned the water on full blast, hoping that the cold water would douse his flaming desire and rid him of his urges and frustration. No such luck. He still saw her in excruciating detail. What he wouldn't give right now to have her in his arms and in his bed. But no. He mustn't touch her. That would not be right. It would just mess everything up. The results of all his research and experimentation would just go up in smoke. He punched the wall, letting the water hammer his back.

  By the time he stepped out of the shower, he was still rock hard. He was so hard it was painful. He wrapped a towel around his waist and flung his dripping body onto the bed. Why can't he get this woman out of his mind? She was driving him to distraction. His uncontrollable desire for her was escalating and surging so wildly it shocked him, and there was not a damn thing he could do about it.

  But he could at least take care of his throbbing, rock hard erection that was tormenting him no end.

  With his eyes closed, he finally gave in to his urges. He let the images play through his mind, giving his mind and body free reign to roam and explore every memory and image of her. He could see Sophia's naked body, glistening with sweat and desire, stretched out on the steel table. His imagination and desire took over, and his bed replaced the cold steel table. He could still see Sophia clearly in his mind, his arms stretched high above her head, but she was no longer lying on the steel table in the machine. She was spread out on his bed, her eyes locked on him and his huge cock. He groaned and grabbed a fistful of his satin sheets. The image was so real. He wanted to fool himself that she was really in his bed, waiting for him, wanting him.

  He could almost smell her. Her legs were parted, and the sweet smell of her sex called to him. He wanted to taste her, lick her and suck her clit and savor her juices. He would push his tongue deep into her slit and tongue-fuck her. He would drive her out of her mind, like she was driving him out of his.

  Moaning, Julian allowed his hand to move down his wet body and stroke his swollen cock. He touched himself, as he thought of Sophia. He wanted to press his cock against her soft body as she writhed beneath him in his bed. He would kiss and suck her quivering breasts as she raised her arms above her head in surrender. Slowly and tortuously, he'd run his tongue and lips over her nipples, and suck and bite them until she cried out. With the wetness growing between her legs, he would finger her, spreading her juices over her clit and rubbing it until it was hard and pulsing under his thumb. And he would keep tasting and licking her until she shuddered and screamed. He imagined pushing her knees apart to spread her even wider as he entered her. He would penetrate her slowly, to allow her to adjust to his girth and length. Inch by inch he would enter her until he was completely buried inside her body.

  Deep. Inside. Her.

  Julian groaned. The ache was too much. He wanted her so much. His hand began to move, his cock throbbing painfully in his palm. He wanted to move in her, slide his cock in and out of her and feel the walls of her wet, tight pussy surround every inch of his cock. He would keep moving, slowly at first, then harder and faster as she raised her hips to him. He would pound into her and watch her body moving and her breasts bouncing to his rhythm. He would keep moving, sucking and stroking her nipples, until she came. The look on her face when she orgasmed was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Her face swam before his eyes, and he moaned, “Sophia.” She was so sweet. He wanted to call her every night, have her in his bed and fuck her every single night. “Sophia, oh Sophia...” he gritted out her name.

  His eyes opened a crack and through his hazy vision, he saw her face. He blinked slowly, still groggy from pleasure, focusing on her pretty face. He opened his eyes wide and her face came into sharp relief. With a jolt, Julian saw her shocked expression, and froze. He wasn't dreaming or fantasizing. Sophia was really in his room, standing before him. She had been standing by the side of his bed and watching him masturbate.

  How long had she been standing there?

  The reality should have hit him like a sledgehammer, but the shock on Sophia's face had subsided. Her expression was soft and shy. Her eyelids lowered and her lips moved soundlessly. She was beautiful, and she was real. In the flesh, right in his room.

/>   Julian covered himself quickly and stood up. As he advanced towards her, she gave a start and spun round, stammering, ““I...I think I should just...”

  “Wait.” Julian sighed. “Please.” Shit, had he frightened her again? Twice now, in one night.

  Sophia shook her head and tried to back away. “I'm sorry...I didn't mean to...I just heard something and I thought you...you...”

  “It's fine. In fact, I think it might even be good.” Julian touched her trembling lips lightly with a finger.

  “Good?” Sophia blinked up at him. She looked so adorable.

  Julian took a deep breath and decided that this was it. He had locked his heart away for too long. He would tell her everything. She was the one. Slowly, he pulled his secrets and his hurt out of himself and laid his heart bare before her. Sophia's eyes never left his as he unburdened himself to her. He had lost his wife and unborn child in an accident five and a half years ago. It was a long time ago, yet he hadn't forgiven himself. But it was time to stop dying and start living. It had been far too long since he allowed himself to feel anything for anyone.

  When he finished, she remained silent. Contemplative, cautious. What burdens was she carrying? What past hurt did she bury in that tender, fragile heart?

  Julian reached out and held her waist. “Sophia,” he whispered. He hadn't wanted anyone until this woman walked right up to his gate and into his heart. He bent down and kissed her, a soft, tentative kiss just at the very corner of her mouth, which curved up ever so slightly.

  “I am very attracted to you, Sophia. And I think now you know how much,” Julian said, and he felt his heart soar. He was beginning to feel alive again. To feel desire and love again. “The moment I saw you, I just wanted to get to know you better. The moment I saw you at the gate, I wanted to rush out and talk to you, to try to stop you from leaving. I wasn't even sure what I'd have said, ask you to stay for supper? I really don't know. I just wanted to hear your voice, and have you near. I...I've never felt this way about anyone, any woman, since...”

  “Then why won't you...” Sophia bit her lip.

  “Sophia,” he whispered. “I want you. I want you a lot, but...I cannot have you. Not before the test is finished. I want to hold you, touch you, have you...but it will interfere with your responses to the machine. So...I can't...but God knows how much I want to!”

  Julian felt his cock stir with need the moment he moved his hand down her hips. She wasn't wearing anything under her long t-shirt. With a surge of lust, he pushed her t-shirt up high over her breasts. He just wanted to feel her bare skin against his. He heard her gasp at his touch. God, he wanted to pull her breast full into his mouth and suck and lick her senseless. Impulsively, he lowered his lips to her nipple, but at the very last instant, he managed to rein in his raging desire. Breathing heavily over her heaving breasts, he closed his eyes and just inhaled her scent. Trembling, he held her tightly against him, feeling the searing heat of her body against his. He could remain like this forever. Hold her forever and never let her go.

  He felt her stir in his arms, and she raised her face to him. What he wouldn't give to kiss her right now. But he couldn't. He mustn't. But he didn't want her to think that he was rejecting her again. As softly and gently as he could, he explained to her what the sex machine was supposed to do: explore and stimulate all her senses, every part of her body, using various stimuli and sensations. And he couldn't do anything with her that would interfere with her responses.

  When he finished, Sophia asked quietly, “You won't hurt me, will you, Julian?”

  He winced. Her question was like a punch to the gut. “Sophia...I won't. I won't ever hurt you. How could I? When all I want to do is love you and make love to you...” He meant every word, but for now, it was enough just to have her near, to hold her for the longest time.

  Julian felt her shiver in his arms, and he was about to speak when she pulled sharply away and regarded him with a cheeky grin.

  “I wonder what else your machine can do, Dr. James,” she teased. “I wonder how much more I can take.”

  Julian stared at her. Gosh, this woman was full of surprises. She could make him smile, and laugh, and feel more intensely than anyone had ever done.

  He loved having her around, having her so near him. But when the contractual time of three weeks was up, could he let her go?

  I wonder how much longer I can resist you.

  Julian hugged her to him fiercely. To hide his inner turmoil and anguish, he smiled down at her and said, “We'll see. I guess you will find that out very soon.”

  Chapter Three

  I wake up in a spacious, king-sized bed with soft, satin sheets caressing my body. The oversized t-shirt I have on, the only thing I am wearing, has been pushed up to my waist in my sleep. As I move my bare legs slowly over the soft sheets, the memory of what happened, or what nearly happened last night start flitting through my still-drowsy senses. I had been in Julian's bedroom, and I had seen him naked—and highly aroused. He had been stroking his huge, beautiful erection and moaning my name. He was rock hard, just thinking of me. I can't help the smile that creeps over my face at the thought. He wants me. Just as much as I want him.

  I glance languidly round my bedroom, one of the two guest bedrooms in Julian's house. My hand slips under my big t-shirt and starts toying with my puckered nipple. I can feel myself growing wet at the thought of Julian's naked body stretched out on his bed, his cock raging with lust as he yearned for me. What was he thinking of doing to me? Did he want to suck and taste me, penetrate me and thrust hard into me? The image of his large, glistening cock pushing deep into me makes my clit throb with desire and I move my hand lower down my stomach. My nipples are firm and erect and I release a shuddering breath as I run my fingers over them and tug them lightly. My right hand finds my clit and I rub it gently. Should I just take care of how I am feeling right now, or should I wait? I did sign the contract to allow Julian to explore every inch of my body and push me to the very edge with his sex machine. There will be more orgasms to come. I stop touching myself and turn to my side. Being aroused is good. I haven't been so aroused by anything, anyone in such a long time. This aching desire that I am feeling lets me know at least that I am still alive. Stop dying and start living, like Julian said. There is nothing to be afraid of. If that strange, metallic sex machine can stimulate me with air, water, or any other substances, then I should just surrender to the sensation and let myself go. It is time to let go of my fear and my inhibitions.

  Dr. Julian James, the devastatingly handsome expert on human sexuality, is right.

  If you constantly deny your body and your senses, you'll slowly wither and die.

  So.

  Quickly, I slip out of bed and wash up. At the door, I stop and frown. I am not wearing anything under my t-shirt, no shorts, no undies, absolutely nothing. I can't go to breakfast like this. Nervously, I open the door and peek out. I take a tentative step out, and my foot nudges against something soft at the side of the door. My eyes round and I kneel to see a pile of new clothes on the floor. They are all women's clothes—some blouses, tank tops slacks, skirts, denim shorts, bra, panties. They've been put here, at my door, so they should be meant for me.

  I gather them up quickly and spread them out on my bed. All the clothes and underwear are in my size. It seems that Julian has noticed that I have discarded the only clothes on my back in his laboratory, and has gone and bought some nice, new ones for me.

  I pick a matching set of bra and panties, and put on a blouse and pencil skirt. This will be the first morning that I am spending in Julian's house. I examine my outfit in the mirror. It does look a bit too formal, but I guess it's better to be presentable at the breakfast table. I don't want to look sloppy, not after how I overreacted last night, crying and careening away from the machine after the session. There is nothing wrong with being stimulated and aroused, even if it is by a machine, I tell myself sternly.

  Just do it.

  Smoothing
down my skirt one last time, I step out of my room and walk down the stairs. I am not sure why I am tiptoeing across the hall towards the kitchen, but the sound of cutlery and conversation coming from the kitchen is making me feel rather shy and apprehensive. Last night, Julian and I were alone in this spacious mansion, and I'd had my first orgasm in his sex machine. I am not sure how Julian will look at me now, in the harsh, sobering light of day. Night always feels more private and seductive, making you lose your sensibilities and judgment. But the morning after...well. Wham, bam, thank you ma’am. I'm not sure I'm prepared for that. Not from Julian.

  At the kitchen door, I hear Julian's hearty laughter and a woman's voice. The woman's admonishments seem to be more in jest than genuine annoyance. Julian chuckles, and I imagine his solemn expression softening and his rugged features lighting up. I take a small step forward to try to catch a glimpse of his smile. At that instant, Julian turns around and his eyes meet my own wide, uncertain ones.

  “Sophia.” He scrapes his chair back and comes to me. “Good morning, sweetheart. Did you sleep well? This is Mrs Kenny, my housekeeper, chef extraordinaire, miracle worker and light of my life.”

  The woman moves away from the stove and smiles at me. She is a plump woman in her mid fifties, with short, curly gray hair and lively blue eyes. “Good morning. You must be Sophia. Aren't you a lovely thing? I'm Mrs Kenny, and I am everything that Julian says. He tells the truth, that he does. He is a good, honest man, though I think he should get out more. For the sake of everyone. Don't you think, Ms Sophia? Please, sit down. I'll get you some pancakes.”

  “I'm very pleased to meet you, Mrs Kenny. Your pancakes smell great.” I smile back.